I know you want to get a drink from the bar or chat and catch up with the person seated next to you.  BUT, when someone is on the mic giving a speech or toast to the bride and groom…quiet down.  It is hard enough for these fine people to get on a mic in front of all the friends and family of the bride and groom.  They’re nervous enough!  The chatter of people who are not paying attention does not help the situation.  Give those folks the respect they deserve.  They will appreciate your cooperation and likely get through their speech quicker!

It is an honor to be asked to give a toast at a wedding.  It means that the couple sees you as a rather significant person in their life.  So, for your part there is a certain amount of respect that is due.  That doesn’t mean you have to be boring, but there are some words of advice one should heed.

• Prepare for your toast. You don’t have to have a speech written word for word.  But at least write down an idea or two of what you want to say.  If you want to talk about that time at the place with the thing, then write it down!  Otherwise you may forget….which may lead to an off the cuff speech….which may or may not be a good thing.
• Keep it short. This isn’t your fifteen minutes of fame.  Its about the bride and groom.  While I’m sure the guests love you, they really want to get down to business (food, drinks, congratulations, dancing).  So, while you may want to tell everyone about all the milestones of your twenty year friendship with the bride, now is not the time.
• Watch what you say. Think to yourself, “would I want that said at my wedding, about me?”  If the answer is no, then don’t say it.  Remember, its not just you and your friend hashing over old times.  Its also 100 (or 200) of their friends and family who may or may not share the peculiar sense of humor that you two have.
• Don’t drink before hand…at least not too much.  If you feel like you’re jittery and nervous then be especially careful of how much you drink before your toast.  The last thing you want to do is be giving a drunken speech (and if you are that person…pray there is no video!).

And as someone who many moons ago committed all these follies as the Maid of Honor for my best friend, I beg of you to listen to me!  I was fortunate in that I didn’t say anything horrific, but I felt like a grand jerk the next day.  And I was even luckier that there was no videographer, so my lovely speech is not memoralized for anyone to relive.  But, you may not be so fortunate.

Please do as I say and not as I have done.  This is a one shot deal and you don’t want to screw it up.

Its a very common practice these days.  You complete a wedding registry and the store you’ve registered at is kind enough to give you cards to include with your invitations so that your guests will know exactly where to go.  The convenience is brilliant!  But, not so fast!  It is actually a faux pas to include registry information with your formal wedding invitations.  The perception is that by including your registry information, you are setting an expectation that a gift is “required.”  Now, we know that’s not what you’re saying, but all the same it is not entirely appropriate.  So, then what are you to do?  You don’t want to field calls about where you’re registered, but you would rather not do anything considered rude or inappropriate.  Here are your two best options:

• Inform your closest family and friends of where you are registered and ask them to relay the information to anyone that asks.
• For your invitations, include a card directing guests to your wedding website for more details and information on the wedding (including accommodations, directions, etc)

Now, the etiquette police won’t be knocking down your door if you decide to go ahead and include your registry details with your invitations.  However, do keep in mind that proper etiquette does say its a no-no!

Happy Monday!