I know you want to get a drink from the bar or chat and catch up with the person seated next to you.  BUT, when someone is on the mic giving a speech or toast to the bride and groom…quiet down.  It is hard enough for these fine people to get on a mic in front of all the friends and family of the bride and groom.  They’re nervous enough!  The chatter of people who are not paying attention does not help the situation.  Give those folks the respect they deserve.  They will appreciate your cooperation and likely get through their speech quicker!

It is an honor to be asked to give a toast at a wedding.  It means that the couple sees you as a rather significant person in their life.  So, for your part there is a certain amount of respect that is due.  That doesn’t mean you have to be boring, but there are some words of advice one should heed.

• Prepare for your toast. You don’t have to have a speech written word for word.  But at least write down an idea or two of what you want to say.  If you want to talk about that time at the place with the thing, then write it down!  Otherwise you may forget….which may lead to an off the cuff speech….which may or may not be a good thing.
• Keep it short. This isn’t your fifteen minutes of fame.  Its about the bride and groom.  While I’m sure the guests love you, they really want to get down to business (food, drinks, congratulations, dancing).  So, while you may want to tell everyone about all the milestones of your twenty year friendship with the bride, now is not the time.
• Watch what you say. Think to yourself, “would I want that said at my wedding, about me?”  If the answer is no, then don’t say it.  Remember, its not just you and your friend hashing over old times.  Its also 100 (or 200) of their friends and family who may or may not share the peculiar sense of humor that you two have.
• Don’t drink before hand…at least not too much.  If you feel like you’re jittery and nervous then be especially careful of how much you drink before your toast.  The last thing you want to do is be giving a drunken speech (and if you are that person…pray there is no video!).

And as someone who many moons ago committed all these follies as the Maid of Honor for my best friend, I beg of you to listen to me!  I was fortunate in that I didn’t say anything horrific, but I felt like a grand jerk the next day.  And I was even luckier that there was no videographer, so my lovely speech is not memoralized for anyone to relive.  But, you may not be so fortunate.

Please do as I say and not as I have done.  This is a one shot deal and you don’t want to screw it up.

It is an honor to be asked by your friend to be a part of the wedding.  However, being part of a wedding can be a costly endeavor, especially if you are a woman.  There is a new dress and accessories to buy, parties to participate in (bridal showers and bachelorette parties), manicures & pedicures, hair and makeup to get done.  And then you may have to travel for the wedding so then there is also the possibility of hotel and airfare.  The money adds up pretty quickly.  And if you are of that age where all your friends are getting married at the same time you may feel the need to take out a loan.  But while it is an honor to be asked to be in the wedding, it is not an honor you have to accept.  It is a difficult conversation to have, but for some folks it is a necessary one.  You may not be able to afford to be in a wedding, you may not be able to afford being in a fifth wedding, or maybe you cannot afford to take as much time off to travel to be in the wedding.  Whatever your circumstances, your reasons for not being in the wedding are valid.

You will have to adjust as needed for your friend and your relationship with your friend, but here is a good starting point:

First, tell your friend how honored you are that she or he asked you to be in the wedding.

Second, tell them that the truth.  You cannot: afford to be in the wedding or take that much time off

Lastly, if you are in the position to do so, tell them you would love to help them with anything they may need with (helping assemble favors one afternoon, bringing items for setup on the day of the wedding, helping with the bridal shower, etc)

Then follow up the conversation with a handwritten note expressing how near and dear your friend is and how happy you are for them.

After you think about it you may decide that this particular friend is too importnant to you to say no to.  But at that point, the decision has become yours and you are more likely to enjoy being party of the wedding because you decided that this is what you wanted.

Courtesy of Your Wedding Day Magazine

Last night, I had the honor of attending the Your Wedding Day Magazine Launch Party for San Diego.

The event was held at the exquisite Grand Del Mar, which provided yummy drinks and tasty food! Chameleon Chairs and Wildflower Linen were some of the sponsors for the decor as well as Kathy Wright & Co.!

I must say that YWD picked a great location that complimented their style and what they are all about and made quite the entrance to the San Diego scene! Wayne Foster Music & Entertainment provided a great ensemble for the evening, Plush Impressions’ lounge furniture was a hit and San Diego Stage & Lighting Supply did an impressive logo display on the lawn below the Manchester Terrace. And did I mention the food?  Mushroom Risotto, Mini Goat Cheese Pizza Slices & Pumpkin Profiteroles…delish!!

Centerpiece with Pomegranate....love love love!!

Chandelier of Flowers!

Belly Bars with Chamelon Chairs

Capella Chapel - Photo does not do it justice!

Vendors:

The Grand Del Mar - Del Mar, CA
Chameleon Chairs - Los Angeles & San Diego
Kathy Wright & Co. - San Diego, CA
Wildflower Linen - Orange County & Los Angeles
Plush Impressions - San Diego, CA
San Diego Stage & Lighting Supply - San Diego, CA
Wayne Foster Music & Entertainment - Carlsbad, CA