Everyone is busy.  We all have places to go and things to do.  But in all that hustle and bustle, don’t forget what your mother taught you!  Like many basics of simple courtesy, the phrase “thank you” seems to be going the way of yesteryear as if they were some pop culture phenomenon that’s past its prime!

I have personally conducted my own study (which has no bearing in science or statistics whatsoever and is merely my own observations) and have come to find that saying “thank you” goes a very long way.  I don’t believe our friends in the service industry hear it nearly as much as they should.  A polite “thank you” to the cashier at whatever store you are at could be a bright spot after they’ve been berated by some angry customer over something that was not their fault in the first place.  If someone holds the door open for you, a “thank you” is an acknowledgment of the kind gesture and a demonstration of your gratitude for something they did not have to do.  And when was the last time you told a busser at a restaurant “thank you” for clearing your table for you so that you may chat a bit without those dirty plates in front of you?

Anyone who has completed a service for you should be complimented with a thank you… unless they’ve been completely rude or neglectful, but that’s another story.  And when you ask anything of anyone you should always finish your request with a thank you…like when you ask a salesperson to find an item for you in a different size or color or both.

But don’t say “thank you” just to say it.  Mean it.  Because there is nothing worse than being
disingenuous.  In fact, an insincere “thank you” can be perceived as a back-handed compliment or dripping with sarcasm.

And I’ll let you in on a little secret.  Being justly polite and courteous to people actually brightens your day too…again, I have no actual proof.  Just a personal observation.  But I’m sure someone somewhere got a research grant to study this.

So next time you’re have a bad day, make an effort to say “thank you” to the folks you encounter who deserve it.  They will certainly appreciate it and your day will slowly improve!

Any large scale event is a big investment.  Its an investment of your money, time and emotions.  So when it comes time to making decisions during the planning process, there are typically several issues that you are weighing.  Do you go with the least expensive option because you’re on a budget?  Do you pick the option that came with the most recommendations because you can’t decide?  Do you pick the most expensive option because that has to mean its a quality choice?  I say that at the end of the day, it boils down to Comfort and Confidence.

Let’s say you’re selecting a florist.

First, make sure you’ve asked all the questions of your vendors.    Try to get the quotes you receive from each florist as similar as possible in terms of the product you are receiving or the price you are targeting (comparing apples to apples is better than apples to oranges).

Make sure you have done your research on each company’s track record.  If you found this vendor through recommendations, then ask the folks that made the recommendation what their priorities were (because they may be different than yours).

Then consider how important that vendor is to you.  This is key. Budget, Your Vision & Quality go hand in hand, but your decisions will usually be based on one pulling rank over the others and how that vendor is able to make you comfortable and instill confidence in their abilities.

• If maintaining Your Vision is critical to your florist selection, then the florist that is best able to translate Your Vision (sometimes regardless of budgetary concerns) will take the lead.
• If Budget is critical to you in this category, then the concept of “You Vision” will probably take a back seat to Budge & Quality.
• And if just straightforward Quality of product is key, then Budget and Your Vision are at the bottom (A vendor can have a great Quality product that does not necessarily match Your Vision)

Whichever key is critical to your decision, the top priority is that you should have a comfort level with the vendor you are hiring and confidence that they will deliver the product you two have agreed upon.

If you don’t feel comfortable telling your florist what you like and what you don’t like about the options they have presented to you, then you may end up with something that you are not completely happy with.  And if you are not confident that your florist can deliver on the ideas you have discussed, then you’re going to be concerned the entire time.

But if you are comfortable and confident, then it makes the entire planning process much less stressful and much more enjoyable!

Happy Planning!

You may be planning a small intimate dinner but want to assign your guests seats at the table.  Or perhaps you have a large soiree and want to assign your guests to a particular table, but let them choose their seat.  And maybe you have a desire to do both: tell your guests what table and what seat they are in.  Well, this is where place cards and escort cards come in.

When assigning guests to a particular table, you use Escort Cards to tell your guests what table they are assigned to (so they may escort themselves to the proper table).  These are usually setup alphabetically as guests are about to enter the dining area.

When you are assigning guests to a particular seat at a table, you use Place Cards to tell your guests which seat (or place) at the table is theirs.  These are typically pre-set at the place settings at the dining table(s).

Now, you may ask yourself “So?!  What’s the big deal?”  Well, it is a big deal when you are using BOTH.  Escort Cards so your guests may find their table and Place Cards so they may find their seats.

Why would you be using both?  A few reasons.

• For a particular type of dinner service, your venue may require you to use Place Cards at the tables to denote the meal selections (and if your party is over 20 or 30 people, then you will want the Escort Cards so your guests know which table to go to).
• Does a portion of your dinner program require audience pickups by a cameraman?  If so, then you better know where those folks are sitting!  In this case, Place Cards may only be required for a few people, while Escort Cards are provided for everyone.
• Maybe you simply like the formality and presentation of using both Escort Cards and Place Cards.

Whether you are using one or both, it is a good idea to know the distinction so as to avoid any confusion.  I once had a client that said “Escort Cards” and I figured we were talking about the same thing (I’ve since learned not to take such things for granted).  So when they brought me Place Cards instead of Escort Cards and no way to tell their guests what table they were at in the first place , it presented a great challenge (trying to tell 100 guests what table they are seated at is no easy task)!  Luckily, I had about 24 hours to find an effective solution.

So don’t let something as silly as the wrong phrase be a monkey wrench in your day!  Remember, your guests are first ESCORTed to a table and then PLACEd at a seat.

You have a 2pm ceremony at the church, but your cocktail hour doesn’t start until 5pm.  What do you do?

This is a common problem for many couples planning their wedding.  Churches can be pretty strict about the times they conduct ceremonies and that doesn’t always work with YOUR plans for the reception.  Or you just happen to be the last person to book that date at the church so you don’t have your pick of the time that best suits you.  No matter the reason for the situation, you have a couple of hours where your guests have nothing to do.  So what do you do?

First, try to close the gap by adding 30 minutes to the front end of your cocktail hour or by bumping up the entire evening by 30 minutes.  It may not seem like a lot of time to you, but it will to your guests.

If your group is game for a laugh, try a mini-scavengar hunt for your guests based on the route from the church to the reception.  Make it easy though!  Have them take silly pictures with their digital cameras at spots designated by you along the route.  The couple (or group) that completes the hunt with the best pics wins “the prize” (like a nice bottle of wine or champagne or gourmet chocolates!).  Makes for added fun for you as you go through the pics and see the silly faces made!

Another option is to have a map of “hot spots” along with way.  Restaurants, lounges, must see landmarks…the nearest mall or department store (runs in pantyhose, shawl for a chilly night, broken heel, numerous reasons for such a pit stop).  Let your guests amuse themselves until cocktail hour begins.

You will have folks that arrive too early and will wait until they can enter the cocktail hour, but at least you’ve given options to those in need of something to do!

Happy Planning!

I’ve been writing my “Etiquette Monday” posts for a couple of months now.  I felt it was appropriate to define “Etiquette” today.

et⋅i⋅quette
/ˈɛtɪkɪt, -ˌkɛt/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [et-i-kit, -ket] Show IPA Pronunciation
-noun
1. conventional requirements as to social behavior; proprieties of conduct as established in any class or community or for any occasion.
2. a prescribed or accepted code of usage in matters of ceremony, as at a court or in official or other formal observances.
3. the code of ethical behavior regarding professional practice or action among the members of a profession in their dealings with each other: medical etiquette.
-Courtesy of Dictionary.com

Now, I tend to get a bit free and loose as to what I consider etiquette (or more accurately, what I consider good writing for Etiquette Mondays).  So, “Etiquette Monday” encompasses all things etiquette, manners, hostess tips & tricks, and social observations.  Not that I am little miss perfect.  But I am a bit persnickety about some things (as you may have noticed by now), and I am always learning something new!

So here’s to all of us improving our social graces in 2009!